


The Trouble With Wanting

by spaceprincessem



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Robin and Terra apprentice au, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23482693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceprincessem/pseuds/spaceprincessem
Summary: Traitor. Apprentice. Lost.Robin feels a constant battle raging inside himself as he and Terra work as Slade's apprentices, working to destroy the Titans. He despises what he has had to become to keep the city safe and hates himself as he hurts the people he cares about most. A fateful run in with Starfire reminds him of what he's really lost along the way and now he has to choose between his duty to protecting others and his heart.Aka Robin and Terra are working for Slade and there's lots of robstar angst[RobStar]
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Robin & Starfire, Robin/Starfire
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

The sun was beginning to set over the water, casting the t-shaped tower in a beautiful glow. Robin heaved a heavy sigh as a gentle breeze played with his hair. He had always been taught to control your emotions, keep your feelings in check, but he couldn’t help the painful ache in his chest as he looked at his old home. He wondered what the Titans were doing right now. Would they be having dinner together? Would Cyborg and Beast Boy be fighting over what movie to watch for the evening? Would Raven chime in her opinion from the couch, a half read book in her hand? Would Starfire…

No.

He wasn’t allowed to think about them, want to be with them, miss them. It would only lead to trouble. He was their enemy now, sworn to destroy them and take down the city no matter the cost. Robin bit his lip, holding back the sob that wanted to burst from his chest. It wasn’t fair. Any of it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Terra had chosen her apprenticeship with Slade. He had not. It was the worst feeling in the world, lying and fighting his friends to keep the city safe. He vowed he would find a way around it, break Slade’s hold over himself and stop the generators before it was too late. But Slade was always watching, always waiting for Robin every chance he took and he was punished for it. 

Don’t worry, Robin, soon your friends won’t miss you and either they’ll finish you or you’ll finish them.

He tried not to let Slade’s words get to him, but in the dark corners of his mind when he was lying on the pathetic excuse for a bed they would creep in, like a sickness. The longer he stayed in Slade’s control the more he damaged his relationship with the Titans. He couldn’t blame any of them, not after what he and Terra had done. One betrayal was bad enough, but two? It was like twisting the knife deeper into the back. But, his team, his old team, kept fighting. They never gave up, no matter how much it killed them to fight. He could see it in their faces and their body language the pain he and Terra were causing them. 

Recently, they had kept the Titans on their toes, never letting them sleep. Robin and Terra could trade off, stealing things and causing trouble, but the Titans always came together, and when it was both of Slade’s apprentices, the Titans could barely hang on. Robin could tell they were worn out, exhausted from fighting their former friends and from not sleeping. It had gotten so bad that Robin had watched Beast Boy retching in the middle of battle, followed by Raven nearly passing out and falling over a cliff. The next night when Robin had been instructed to steal something very important he made sure not to be detected so that the Titans were not called out. He had hoped they slept soundly that night. It had cost him a good beating from Slade, but it had been worth it if it meant his friends weren’t dying on the battlefield. 

Slade had thought fighting his friends would get easier, but really, it was worse every time. Starfire would never engage with him, always going after Terra, instead. She had given up talking to him weeks ago and now she couldn’t even look at him. It broke his heart the rare moments they were forced to stand off against each other. He tried not to give her special treatment, but Robin could never bring himself to attack her. Anytime he made an action that resulted in her being harmed he would fall deeper in his pit of self-hatred, often beating his fist against the walls of his room until they bled. Fighting with the other Titans was never easy, but when it came to Starfire it took everything in him not to break down.

“You know you shouldn’t be here.”

Robin’s eyes narrowed as he turned away from the tower to see Terra standing just behind him. “What do you want?” In their time together Robin had not grown to like Terra anymore, despite what Slade said about them being “partners”. She had helped set up the generators that would destroy the city to bring Robin over to their side. She had been the one to choose Slade over their friends. 

“Trying to save you from another beating.” Terra said nonchalantly as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. She couldn’t understand why Robin was struggling so much, destroying the Titans was fun.

“Do you really think I care about that?” Robin asked as he turned away from her, catching another glimpse at the tower. He wanted to go home so badly. What was a few more bruises from Slade going to do?

Terra sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Hey, its your skin not mine, but fighting the Titans when your injured makes my job a lot harder.”

Robin felt his hands ball into fist, but he resisted the urge to lash out at her. He knew it would do neither of them any good. “Don’t you care about them at all?” He fired back at her instead. He couldn’t have been the only one. Deep down, Terra had to have cared too.

Terra was caught off guard, but only for a moment, before her eyes narrowed. “Not really and you shouldn’t either.”

“Whatever.” Robin said, ignoring her. “Just go away.”

Terra had to resist the urge to roll her eyes again. “Listen, if you want to catch a glimpse of Starfire do it on the battlefield not-“

Her sentence was cut off as Robin rounded on her, shoving her into a rock, his fingers clenched against her shirt. “Don’t you ever say her name to me.” He growled through clenched teeth. 

Terra could only smirk in return. “Whatever you say, boss.” She responded, un-phased by his anger. He released her and Terra brushed off the dirt on her shoulder as Robin turned away from her. “Anyway, Slade wants us back at base. Something about an important mission.”

Robin felt his shoulders slump slightly. That meant another fight with the Titans and he was starting to lose his will to face them. “Let’s go then.” He said in a defeated tone before throwing one last, longing look behind him. 

Terra watched Robin disappear before looking at the tower herself. A small frown filled her lips and she shook the tiny pangs of guilt that filled her chest. She didn’t care about the Titans and soon Robin wouldn’t either. “See you later, losers.” She said as she gave the tower a small salute. 

-

“Out for a stroll this fine evening?” Slade asked as he came to a stop in front of his two apprentices, eyeing them both with guarded curiosity. Robin refused to look at him and Terra only shrugged her shoulders instantly.

“Your cooking is almost as bad as the sulfur smell.” Terra responded cheekily. “Sometimes it’s nice to get pizza every now and then.”

Slade had the feeling she was covering up for something, but he didn’t have the patients to deal with whatever Robin had been off doing in his free time. There were more important things to do. “Your sarcasm is almost as good as your fighting.” Slade responded, causing Terra to smirk. 

“Can we cut the bullshit?” Robin asked. He hated the small talk. He didn’t want to banter with Slade and Terra, he just wanted to get the job done so he could go back to figuring out how the escape this hell. “What do you want us to steal?”

Slade narrowed his eye at Robin, who only glared back in return. He turned away and walked over to his computer, pulling up an image of a weapon on the screen. It looked like a small, laser that one could attach to their wrist. 

“Small, but powerful, and very deadly.” Slade said as he zoomed in on the object.

“What the hell do we need that for?” Terra asked as she played with her hair.

“You don’t, my dear, but Robin could use an upgrade.” Slade said as he looked at the young man, who was still glaring at his un-chosen mentor.

“I don’t need it.” Robin responded after a moment. What use would he have for such a dangerous thing? He could hazard a guess at what Slade was thinking.

“If you haven’t noticed, my dear boy, the Titans all posses special powers,” Slade said as he steadily walked towards Robin, “and most of them are very resilient.”

Robin didn’t like where this was going, but he didn’t take the bait. It would just earn him a nice smack in the face if he did. Slade was always trying to pull out some emotion when he talked about the Titans, trying to destroy that part inside of him that still loved and cared for his friends.

“It’s time you learned to deal a little more damage.” Slade said as he came eye level with Robin. “Too many pretty faces, they can cause quite a distraction.”

Robin bit down hard on his tongue as he kept eye contact with Slade. He knew exactly which Titan Slade was referring to, but he wouldn’t show his cards. It would only put her in danger. So he had to lie. He had gotten pretty good at that. “All I see are enemies.”

Slade stood up, apparently pleased with his response. Robin internally breathed a sigh of relief. “Good boy.” 

Slade turned from Robin and moved to sit in his chair. He pressed a button and the screen snapped away from the weapons and to the Titans who were all out to dinner together. Robin felt his heart sink into his stomach. For once they actually looked happy, but he could still see the tension in their bodies. They weren’t fully relaxed and not all of the smiles reached their eyes. It was cruel seeing them and knowing how different things would be if he were still by their side. Soon their evening would be ruined when he and Terra inevitably set off an alarm and the battle would resume once more. He tried to focus on Cyborg, he was sitting farthest away from Starfire and Robin definitely couldn’t look at her.

“No, wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty face.” Slade said as the camera panned to her for a moment. 

Robin watched as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, his stomach twisting uncomfortably, before it panned to the rest of the team. Out of the corner of his eyes he thought he saw Terra twitch when Beast Boy flashed across the screen. 

“Come on,” Terra said in a dark voice as she turned away, Robin following her, “let’s go fight some Titans.”

“Terra, a word.” Slade said before she could stalk off. 

She looked at Robin before he nodded his head and disappeared into the darkness. Terra wandered over to where Slade was sitting. “Yes?”

“Do me a favor.” Slade said dangerously. He could see her eyebrow quip with interest, a small smile on her face.

“Of course” She said with a cock of her head. “What do you need?”

“Make sure that during the fight our boy comes face to face with his alien princess.” Slade said as the camera panned back to Starfire.

“Anything you want.” Terra said with a small nod.

-

Breaking in was always easy. No security system or armed guards ever stood a chance against the two of them. Robin hated how well they worked as a team. Although, it was more for convenience sake than anything else. He walked up to the weapon, the alarms and flashing red lights sounding in the background, reaching out and plucking it from its suspension hold. He could hear the sound of a pained scream before the sound of a rock smashing into the wall silenced it. Terra strolled over to where he was, eyeing the thing with curiosity.

“You get all the fun toys.” She said as she watched him attach it to his wrist.

“Thought you said you didn’t need it.” Robin retorted as he examined the small laser. He wondered how powerful it really was.

“God, where are the Titans?” Terra groaned. “I’m bored!”

“Stop treating this like it’s a joke, Terra.” Robin said as he started for the exit. Maybe they could avoid the fight. Robin wished for nothing more. He knew they would have ruined their dinner and now it was going to get worse by pulling them into a fight they didn’t want to participate in. Before she could respond black energy wrapped around both of them, hoisting them up into the air. The Titans appeared just in front of them, their faces grim as they looked up at their foes.

“It’s about time.” Terra said as her eyes began to glow. She flicked her head and a large rock came out of the ground, heading straight for Raven, who moved just in time, but dropped both Terra and Robin in the process. “You Titans are getting slow.” She mocked as Raven regrouped with the others.

“Put the weapon back and walk away.” Cyborg said through gritted teeth, his arm canon ready to fire at either of them.

“What, no quick one liners today?” Terra asked with a fake yawn.

“We don’t have anything to say to you.” Beast Boy shot back in anger.

“Fine,” Terra said as she pulled a rock from the ground, hopping on it, “we’ll skip straight to the ass kicking then.” 

She took off after Beast Boy, slamming him into the opposite wall. Robin watched as Starfire took off after her, knocking the girl from her rocky post. Robin barely had time to run over and help as Cyborg’s canon blast nearly missed him. He ducted as both Cyborg and Raven charged at him. Robin got to Raven first, kicking her feet from under her before he picked her up and swung her into Cyborg, knocking them both back. He turned to see Starfire and Terra in a heated conflict. Starbolts connected with rocks, shattering pieces of earth everywhere.

“You’ve acquired a new blaster,” Slade hissed in Robin’s earpiece, “I suggest that you use it.”

Robin gritted his teeth as he raised his hand, pointing it at Starfire’s moving form. He followed her movements, knowing he would have the perfect shot, but he couldn’t pull the trigger. He was suddenly knocked off his feet by a green goat, thrown into the opposite wall. Beast Boy had got the upper hand on him while he had focused on Starfire. In his fall the blast was sent up to the ceiling, causing a partial cave in. Beast Boy transformed back into himself as he neared Robin.

“You could have really hurt her with that.” He said angrily.

Robin groaned as he got to his feet. Slade had been right about one thing, the blast was pretty powerful and it could do some major damage. He knew somewhere Slade was watching and listening to everything that was happening. “That’s kind of the point.” Robin murmured.

“What’s your deal, dude?” Beast Boy asked as he quickly dodged a few punches and kicks.

“What’s yours?” Robin asked in response as he took out his staff and knocked Beast Boy back into some of the rubble from the ceiling. He could already feel the guilt pooling inside of him, like a heavy brick. 

“Hey Boy Wonder, a little help!” Terra called as she dodged attacks from Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire. 

Robin turned the blaster towards one of the security trip wires, aiming it right at the explosive devices. The explosion knocked all of the Titans off of their feet and Terra managed to flip out of harms way. She moved over by Robin, creating a rock platform for both of them to hop on. 

“Time we took this party outside.” Terra said as she moved them out through the giant hole in the ceiling and into the cool, evening air.

“Good,” came Slade’s voice in both of their ears, “take them to a terrain that suits your advantages.”

The Titans weren’t far behind and a blast of green energy knocked both of them off of Terra’s rock. Robin managed to grab hold of a giant tree, swinging his way down, and landing safely on his feet. Terra wasn’t far behind him and neither were the Titans. There the fight continued and they moved like they always did. Evenly matched, good hits and bad falls on each side of the playing field. It was almost a routine at this point and Slade had to remind Robin several times to use his new blaster.

“Terra, I think it’s time we made things interesting.” Slade said as he leaned back in his chair, watching the battle from several different angles. 

“Fine by me.” Terra said as she dodged another blast from Starfire. She was tired of always fighting one of the stronger titans. Starfire wasn’t an easy person to keep pace with considering her abilities and Terra felt like she always scraped out of the battle worse off than Robin did. She looked over to see Robin on the other side of the quarry facing off against Raven and Beast Boy. 

Robin had just used the blaster, nearly missing Raven, but hitting just the right spot in the ground so that she flew back into Beast Boy. He turned to see if Terra needed help when he realized the ground had suddenly began to shake and he was thrown off balance, sliding down the side of the quarry. “Terra, stop!” He tried to yell over the noise, but it was too late, she was blocked from his view and he was falling to the bottom. He hit the ground, hard, as the landscape around him rose and fell with Terra’s powers. The sound of another cry of pain grabbed his full attention. He looked up to see Starfire just a few feet away from him. He felt his heart plummet into his stomach. Slade had wanted this to happen and that’s what Terra had given him. Maybe there was still time to escape without her seeing him; maybe he could stop whatever Slade was planning for this moment.

Starfire looked up and froze when she realized who she was now stuck at the bottom of this pit with. This is what she had been so good at avoiding because she knew she wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done to stop him. Every time she saw him felt like the first time and the betrayal and the heartbreak hit her all over again. “Robin…” She said softly, letting her weakness show just for a moment. 

It had been so long since he had heard her say his name. It was like a punch to the gut. He couldn’t keep up this charade, not around her, not when she said his name like that.

“Robin!” Slade screamed in his ear. “Attack or suffer the consequences.”

Robin felt his face twist in pain as he focused the blaster on her, but she was faster. Moving out of its path as he followed her around the rocky terrain. Her starbolts forced him to take shelter behind a large boulder. He moved from around the corner, but a bolt caught him by surprise and he was sent back into a rock. He recovered quickly, moving the blaster and aiming it right at her as she flew towards him. He could hear her cry out as it hit her side and she fell to the ground with a loud crash. He immediately regretted his actions as he sprinted after her, worry constricting his throat. What had he done? As he climbed over some debris a series of starbolts were fired at him and as he rolled to dodge them he released a shaky sigh of relief. She was okay. 

“Terra!” Slade yelled as a few of his transmission cut out from the starbolts. “Move to the quarry, I want eyes on Robin and Starfire.”

Robin tackled her to the ground, sending the pair rolling further into the rocky pit. Robin could hear Slade yelling in his earpiece to finish her by using the blaster. They landed in a small puddle, Robin on top of her, pinning her to the ground. The moonlight fell over them and for a moment they both just looked at each other, chest heaving. He could see that she was bleeding from the wound in her side. The wound he had given her. They were both covered in dirt, mud, and blood. Somewhere he could hear Terra screaming for him and Slade yelling commands, but his focus was all on Starfire. This was the closes they had been in a long time and Robin didn’t know what to do about it. He knew that she could blast him off if she really wanted to, but she was holding back. 

“Get out of my head.” Robin yelled as he pulled out his earpiece and threw it some distance away.

“Robin…” Her voice came again and this time when he looked down at her there were tears in her eyes. “I can’t keep doing this. Fighting you.”

“It’s just how it has to be.” He responded, but he could hear his voice breaking as his grip on her hands loosened. He couldn’t do it either. Sooner or later one of them would break and then what?

“If it has to be like this, forever,” Starfire gently grabbed his hand that had the laser weapon attached and moved it so that it was against her chest, against her heart, “then I don’t want to be here anymore.” 

“Starfire, no.” Robin said as he tried to pull his hand away, but she was stronger. 

“Robin, please.” Starfire said as she squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling hot and fast down her cheeks. “Do what you must to finish the job.”

Robin couldn’t believe what she was asking him to do, he wouldn’t, no, he couldn’t kill her. He would never forgive himself for such a thing. How could he when he loved her more than anything in this world? He would rather face the wrath of Slade a thousand times over before he would hurt her like that. Robin pulled himself from her grip, stumbling backwards. His stomach ached and he felt like he was going to be sick. Even though he and the Titans had been in gridlock for weeks, Slade had already won. He had lost himself and now he was losing Starfire too.

“No.” Robin said as he tore the laser from his wrist. “Screw all of this.” He threw the weapon far away before falling to his knees beside her again. “I can’t lose you, Star.” He said as he reached out for her. 

She fell into his embrace, arms wrapped around each other in a tight hug. He leaned his forehead against hers, craving this closeness between them. He had missed her so much.

“What do we do now?” She breathed as she looked up at him. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted honestly. He leaned down and did the only thing he wanted to do. Their lips met and soon Robin was consumed by her. 

-

Slade slammed his fist down on his chair, but neither Robin nor Terra flinched. They had learned better than that. Slade could feel his teeth grinding together as he got to his feet. “You two have failed me.”

“Slade,” Terra cut across his rage, “did you see the Titans? This is the worst they’ve ever looked.” She indicated her head to the screen just behind him where the videos from the fight were on replay. 

She had not been wrong. All four Titans had come out badly bruised and bleeding. Slade looked away from the video, his eye falling over Robin. “And yet I have nothing from your time in the bottom of the quarry.”

“Maybe you should ask why Terra put me down there in the first place.” Robin growled as he crossed his arms over his chest, sending a pointed glare to the blond standing next to him.

“I instructed you to use the blaster.” Slade said, his voice low and dangerous. 

Robin knew he had to tread lightly. “I did.” He said after a moment. It wasn’t a complete lie. He had used the blaster on Starfire. Something he would regret forever.

“And yet, the princess still stands.” Slade hissed. Robin felt his hands balling into fist. He hated when Slade called her that. He had no right. “Your communication device wasn’t on your person.”

“I told you it fell out.” Robin responded, trying his best to remain calm and collected. 

“How convenient that there were no eyes and ears on you right when you were alone with Sta-“ 

“Slade.” Terra cut her master off before he could say the alien princess’ name. She knew it would trigger Robin and she wasn’t looking for another fight for the evening. She was tired and she had questions of her own for the Boy Wonder. “She’s an alien, one blast isn’t good enough to take her out.”

Slade was still glaring at Robin before he pulled himself up to his fullest height. “No matter. I will discover something that even our alien princess can not with stand.”

Robin could feel blood pooling in his palms from where his nails had dug into his soft skin. His body ached and he had already made his situation more difficult by what he had done in the pit. He told himself that he needed to stay in control, no matter what Slade threatened. He wouldn’t let Slade touch Starfire, not if it was the last thing he did. So he swallowed his anger and over protectiveness. He tried to remember the feel of her lips on his and how gently her hands moved over his skin. Her warmth. Her light. It filled him and he wrapped it around himself like a protective shield. 

“You’re dismissed for the evening.” Slade said as he waved them away.

Robin turned and left without any hesitation, Terra was not far behind. When they were out of earshot and sight of Slade, Terra reached out, grabbing Robin by the arm and turning him so that they were facing each other.

“What?” Robin snarled.

“What really happened down there?” Terra asked. Slade had been right. It was the first time either of them had no eyes on the scene and, to Terra, it seemed like the fighting had stopped for a few moments. 

“We fought. She got out. I climbed up moments later.” Robin said as he shrugged out of her hold. 

“You think you can fool Slade,” Terra said as she caught him again, “and maybe you can.” Robin regarded her with narrowed eyes. “But don’t think you can fool me. You’re playing a dangerous game.”

“Thanks.” Robin said as he rammed his shoulder into her as he passed by to his room. “I’ll remember that the next time I catch you staring at Beast Boy a little too long with that look on your face.”

Terra’s lips immediately curled into a snarl as she watched Robin walk away. “Don’t cross him, Robin, because we both know how that will end.”

Robin paused for a moment, his head turning over his shoulder to catch a glimpse at her. He knew Slade was dangerous that’s why he was still there, but he would be damn if he didn’t try to fight his way back to the titans, back to his family, back to Starfire. “I think Slade should be the one worried about crossing me.” Was all he said before he disappeared into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Starfire winched as Raven finished bandaging her side where Robin had hit her with the blaster. She had lost a lot of blood, but due to her Tameranian physiology and Raven’s healing powers she would heal just fine, eventually.

“Another close call.” Raven said dully as she moved away from Starfire, sitting down on the couch, and closing her eyes in exhaustion.

“They’re just two people.” Cyborg said through gritted teeth, his frustration rolling over them in waves. “There are four of us!”

“Robin and Terra know us better than any other villain ever has.” Beast Boy said from the floor in defeat. He was leaning against Starfire’s legs, his arms crossed over his chest. “And Slade is ruthless.”

“So,” Raven said as she lowered her hood, her violet eyes opening back up, “we’re just going to be stuck in this loop until one of us breaks?”

Silence settled between the group as they all looked at the ground. They were exhausted, both physically and emotionally. They had hoped they would just become numb to the pain and betrayal, see them only as their enemies, but nothing was ever black and white. At the end of they day they were still able to keep the city safe, even if it was chipping away at them, piece by piece. 

“Robin had the opportunity to finish me.” Starfire suddenly said, cutting through the stillness. The titans all look at her, stunned by her words. She couldn’t lie to her friends, not after everything they had been through, but she didn’t have to tell them the full truth either. Truthfully, she wasn’t even sure if what happened had been real or not, but how could it have been a dream? She could still feel Robin moving against her, his hands gripping her hips tightly, pulling her closer, planting kisses in between soft sighs and gentle moans. 

“Starfire,” Beast Boy said as he laid a hand on her, his face full of concern, “what happened?”

Starfire shook her head. “Robin is conflicted. He doesn’t want to fight us, but it seems like he doesn’t have a choice.” 

“You think Slade is controlling him somehow?” Raven asked. She dared not hope for a way to save their leader. 

“I don’t know.” Starfire responded as tears filled her eyes. How was she supposed to take Robin blasting her one moment and then kissing her the next? She was already so confused and heartbroken, now it was only worse. Robin offered no explanation after the kiss. He just told her to keep it a secret and disappeared. What was she to do now? She felt someone take her hand and she looked over to see Raven smiling at her.

“I guess that means we need to figure out what Slade is planning.” Cyborg said as he stood up. His shoulders were set in determination and his eyes narrowed in new vigor. “And take him down to save our friends.”

“How?” Beast Boy asked as he leaned his back into Starfire, his head throbbing. “We barely get a moments rest. How are we supposed to fight Robin and Terra and stop Slade?”

“We’ll have to break into teams and refocus our energy.” Cyborg said. “I know it’s going to be tough, but Raven is right.” Both teens exchanged a glance. “Sooner or later someone is going to break and then there won’t be a Titans left to help anyone. I need to know you’re all with me.”

Starfire reached out a hand and placed it a top of his. Raven and Beast Boy followed suit. They all smiled at each other as Starfire said, “We are with you.”

After a quick dinner the Titans said their goodnights and Starfire floated off to take a shower. She carefully peeled the bandages away and ran her fingers over the wound that had already started to heal. She flinched in pain and moved to look in the mirror. She was still covered in dry mud and blood, and from what she could see there were several bruises forming over her tanned skin. Normally she was used to her bruised and battered state, but knowing these had come from someone she loved, well, it was hard to look away. She moved into the shower, letting the hot water soothe her sore body. She couldn’t stop thinking about Robin. 

I can’t lose you, Star.

Why had he said that? Why couldn’t he just finish the job, that’s what Slade wanted, right? If Slade had forced Robin and Terra to betray them, then why couldn’t he tell her the reason for it? She banged her fist against the shower walls, hot tears slipping down her cheeks. It wasn’t fair. Any of it. This was not how they were supposed to discover a new part of their relationship with each other. Forbidden and a secret. She wished she could forget him and how she felt about him, but loving Robin had never been easy. She moved from the shower, changing into a tank top and shorts before climbing into bed. She had barely been asleep when she heard her window creak open. She moved so fast, her hands glowing green as she turned toward the intruder, causing them to back into the wall.

“Star, it’s me.”

Starfire immediately powered down, not believing who was standing just a few feet in front of her. “Robin?”

Robin had his back to the wall, his hands up in a surrendering motion. He knew he shouldn’t have been there and that coming here after Slade had suspected something was dangerous. But Robin didn’t care. He was through playing by Slade’s rules. He needed to see her, especially they way he had just left her in the pit, alone and confused.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, keeping her distance. She wanted more than anything to run to him, but she knew better than that.

“I can’t explain everything,” Robin began, “because it’s too dangerous, but I don’t want to be without you anymore.”

“The Titans,” Starfire began, “we’re trying to figure out Slade’s plan…”

Robin waved his hands, trying to stop her. “Don’t. He’ll destroy everything. Only I can stop this.”

“Robin…” Starfire said as she took a step towards him. Despite everything he was still trying to play the self-sacrificing hero, some things never changed. It almost made her smile or roll her eyes at his stupidity, but her heart was aching too much for that. 

“Starfire, you have to trust me.” Robin said as he moved closer to her.

“How can I?” She fired at him. “One moment you are ripping me down from the sky, hurting me, the next you are kissing me.” Tears were falling hot and fast again, but she couldn’t stop them. She had tried so hard to be strong for her friends, but now, in the darkness of her room in front of the boy she loved, it was all spilling out.

Robin reached out, grabbing her arms gently. “I know! I know.” He couldn’t stand to see her so heartbroken and it was all because of him and the terrible choices he was constantly making. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Robin.” Her fingers moved over his armor, her eyes falling over his face. She knew that she should be cautious and that she should tell the team, but it was just her and Robin. No Terra. No Slade. No Titans. Just Starfire and Robin. “I trust you.”

“Star…” Robin’s hand moved to her cheek for a brief moment, his thumb working across her soft skin before her pulled her into a kiss. 

Both of their clothes ended up on the floor and they became entangled in each other and the purple sheets of Starfire’s bed. They had never been this close before, but being like this, made them both feel alive. Robin was amazed by the way Starfire moved with him, like she could read his mind. It had always been so dangerous to be this close, even when they were heroes, but Robin didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was the feel of Starfire’s soft skin against his own. He loved her. Really, truly loved her and that terrified him, but he knew she felt the same.

“I have to go.” Robin said as buried his head into her fiery red hair, pulling her closer as he spooned her.

“Stay.” Was all she said as she held on to him tighter. How could he leave after what they had just done?

“I can’t.” Robin responded with a heavy sigh. Someone would notice his absence and he couldn’t risk the repercussions of what his choices would bring. 

Starfire turned so she was facing him, her hands coming up to cup his cheeks. “We can’t live like this.” She said, her thumbs brushing across his skin.

“It won’t be forever.” He stated, because it wouldn’t be. He was going to find a way out of all of this so they could be together, like they were meant to be. 

-

“You seem less grouchy than normal.” Terra remarked as she leaned against his doorframe, arms crossed over her chest.

“What gave you that impression?” Robin asked as he finished getting dressed. He noticed her eyes were on his bare chest. He quickly threw on his shirt, hoping she thought his bruises were from battle and not a certain alien princess.

“You didn’t have your usual scowl as Slade laid out the plan for this evenings heist.” She observed as she casually strolled into his room, moving in slow circles around him. “Care to explain?” She asked as she quipped an eyebrow.

“I didn’t realize you enjoyed watching me so closely.” Robin said as he took a step towards her, eyes narrowed. 

“In this place a girl’s eye candy is limited.” Terra said with a shrug. “Besides, you’re more interesting to watch than Slade.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Was all Robin said as he brushed passed her. 

The last thing he needed was Terra figuring out his secret. At first it was going to be a one time thing. He had just needed her once. Something to keep him going until he could figure a way out of this mess, but the more he saw her on the battlefield, the more he needed to hold her in his arms to make up for all the damage dealt. So, against his better judgment, he created a space just for them. He had secret funds from Bruce and it was easy establishing a little oasis for them to meet whenever they could. Robin clung to those nights, wrapped up in Starfire’s light and warmth, it was the only thing keeping him sane. He had to tread carefully though, one misstep could lead to devastating consequences. Slade was always watching and he had made it very clear on how he felt about Starfire.

“I’m your partner, “ Terra said as she caught up with him, “worrying about you comes with the territory."

Robin casted her a sideways glance. Terra could be a mystery sometimes. One moment she was Slade’s obedient servant, the next she was lying to his face to protect Robin from another beating. “Then why would me being less grouchy be cause for alarm?” He asked cautiously. 

“Because it means you’re probably thinking of doing something risky and stupid.” Terra said with a knowing look.

Robin felt his lip quiver slightly, but he did not give. She was only partially right. He was already doing something extremely risky. He kept quiet as they entered the main room where Slade was waiting for them. He and Terra fell in line next to each other, hands behind their back like they were taught.

“I have a change of plans.” Slade said as he turned away from the monitoring screens where he watched endless battles between his apprentices and the Titans. 

“You don’t want us to steal anything?” Terra asked.

Slade shook his head. “Oh no, you are definitely going to steal something, but that will not be the main focus.”

Robin groaned internally. Stealing things was easy and they could get away without picking too much of a fight as long as Slade didn’t demand one. Now, it seemed, he had something more devious up his sleeve and Robin was already dreading it,

“I’ve noticed the Titans have been splitting off into pairs to conserve energy.” Slade noted as he paced in front of his apprentices. He grabbed a small remote and pulled up their most recent run in with the Titans. “Raven and Cyborg were both out last time you all met, so, logically speaking, the next two Titans out on duty will be…”

“Beast Boy and Starfire.” Terra said grimly.

Robin felt his face harden and he could even see Terra’s eyes narrow ever so slightly. It was always difficult fighting Starfire in battle, especially now since, well, it was hard facing her some nights when the bruise or scratches on her skin were from him. 

“I want to play a little game.” Slade said as he watched them. “Whoever deals the most damage to the changeling and princess will avoid a very tough lesson from me.”

Robin and Terra exchanged a quick glance. Some reason Robin felt like, despite her supposed outward disdain for the Titans, she wasn’t exactly thrilled with what they had to do. He knew Slade had them right where he wanted him and he couldn’t help the next words slip through his lips, “For what purpose does this serve?”

Slade regarded Robin with a curious expression, but his young apprentice gave nothing away with his narrowed, masked eyes. “Because, my dear boy, it’s what we do. Besides, you both need a good challenge and what better way to address that than facing the two people you used to care about most?”

Robin gritted his teeth, but did not respond. If he were lucky he could just focus on Beast Boy, but he knew things were never that easy. 

“Well,” Slade said, “what are you two waiting for? Get moving.” Robin and Terra gave Slade a small bow before taking their leave.

“One of us is going to have to take the hit tonight.” Terra mumbled as they walked through the hallway to the exit of Slade’s layer. 

“Lucky us.” Robin deadpanned. While he certainly wasn’t looking forward to getting punished by Slade he didn’t see any way around it. Terra was much better at attacking their friends and he either had to deal with her hurting Starfire, him a attacking Beast Boy, or facing Starfire on his own. There was no winning in this game. 

The Titans splitting their time had certainly improved their fighting skills. They were more alert and worked better together. Robin was almost jealous the way Beast Boy and Starfire moved with each other in battle. Despite whatever he and Starfire were doing on their own time he had to remind himself he was no longer part of their team and now they were working together in ways he had no part in. He didn’t realize how well Starfire and Beast Boy could work as a unit, but, then again, they were probably the most heartbroken of the Titans, the double betrayal hitting them the most. Robin grunted as Beast Boy’s kangaroo kick knocked him back into a tree; so far he and Terra were losing. 

“At this rate I will have to teach both of you a lesson.” Slade snarled into their earpieces. “If I didn’t know better I would say you’ve gone soft for the two Titans.” Terra had just crashed into Robin, knocking the Boy Wonder down again. Both apprentices groaned as they slowly go to their feet. “But I am not an unforgiving master,” Slade spoke, his voice more calm, “help will always be granted in your time of need.”

Starfire floated just behind Beast Boy, the latter back in his normal shape, his narrowed eyes searching the ground for their former friends. “I know it’s hard, Star, but we’re driving them back.”

Before Starfire could respond she could see a large canon blast being fired in their direction. She moved in front of Beast Boy, shielding him, and taking the brunt of the blast. As they flew back Beast Boy caught Starfire in his arms before they rolled to a stop on the other side of the field. 

“Star, are you okay?” He asked worriedly as he pulled back his hand, realizing it was covered it blood.

“I’m fine.” Starfire whispered as she tried to stand. “It would appear Slade is not happy with his apprentices and has decided to help.”

Beast Boy quickly transformed into a tiger, standing protectively in front of her as Terra zoomed over the hill on a large rock. He launched at her, knocking her off of her perch. He circled back around, helping Starfire to her feet, nudging her side gently with his tiger head. A blast from Robin’s blaster separated them and before Beast Boy could charge he was distracted by Terra coming after him.

“Is Beast Boy your new partner now?” Robin asked as he drew near Starfire. He was angry, frustrated, and stupidly jealous of the way the two interacted with each other. He missed being on her team, but he knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way. Jealous. He knew where her heart belonged and yet, he couldn’t escape the doubt Slade had been drilling into his head over the past few months.

Starfire’s eyes narrowed. She hated what Slade had done to him. Fighting one moment, making love the next. She was dizzy from the constant motion between them. She never once doubted her feelings, but it was agonizing knowing both their hands could and had hurt each other in more ways than one. How could he look at her like that and then hold her in his arms like she was the most delicate thing in the world a few hours later?

“Don’t.” Was all she could manage to say as her starbolts began to glow in her hands. Beast Boy was her friend and they had grown closer, bonding over what they had lost, but she loved Robin. Why would he doubt her now?

Their fight ended the way they always did, in a stalemate with both sides coming out bloodied, bruised, and a but more broken than when they started. This one had made Robin feel worse than he usually did. While neither of his friends took any more physical damage than normal he had let his anger show and accused Starfire of something he knew didn’t mean anything more to her than friendship. Slade had not been pleased by their performance earning them both a few good hours of punishment from their master. Robin stared at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes scanning over the bruises that covered his torso. He was surprised he still had skin that wasn’t black and blue. While the physical abuse was bad, it didn’t compare to the mental abuse Slade was so well known for as he threw them around the training room. Robin rarely cried, but after tonight it was hard holding back the tears as he slumped off to clean up. He wanted to text Starfire, ask her to meet up. He wanted to apologize and melt into her as he tried to forget about the nightmare that was his life, but he also felt like he couldn’t face her, not yet.

“Just when you think Slade has said everything terrible he possibly could, he comes up with something much worse.” Terra said from his doorway.

Robin slowly turned to face her, too tired to give her the scowl he usually reserved for her when she invaded his privacy. It was one of those rare moments she wasn’t wearing her armor. She was in a plain shirt and sweat pants. He could see the bruises along her arms, which were crossed over her chest.

“What did he say to you?” Robin asked as he looked away from her, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“Don’t worry about it.” She said as she came to sit next to him. “Guess we both lost his game.”

“We lost a long time ago.” Robin mumbled in a rare moment of honesty. He could see her begin to crack under Slade’s abuse. Being his apprentice was no longer what she thought it would be. 

“But, we don’t have to be alone.” Terra murmured as her hand slid over his.

Robin froze against the bed, not sure what to do. He didn’t know if she was acting out in desperation for affection and warmth or if she really liked him in some weird, twisted way. “Terra…” Robin said carefully.

“Please, Robin…” Terra said as she moved onto his lap, pulling him into a kiss. 

He knew he should have played along; let her think he didn’t love the alien princess like she thought he did. They were both so lonely and lost in this hell and all she wanted was someone to hold her. Have hands that wouldn’t abuse her. Despite his unwillingness and her eagerness to join Slade they were now in this together. Her lips felt wrong against him as he pulled her closer and all he could do was think about Starfire. That’s the only person he wanted to see and hold intimately. Her hands moved over his bruised body, slipping into his pants. Robin recoiled from her touch, pushing her off of him. Terra fell to the floor, confused as Robin stood up.

“Terra, I can’t.” Robin said, guilt welding up in his chest as he thought of Starfire. He couldn’t do that with anyone else. It was one of the few things he had with her that he didn’t want to share. 

Terra pushed herself up from the floor, tears in her eyes. “You think you’re going to get out of this hell and live happily ever after with Starfire?” She yelled. “Newsflash, Boy Wonder, if you don’t kill her Slade will and I’m going to be the only thing left you’ve got.”

Robin rounded on her, seething with anger. He could feel tears in his eyes. He had held it back for so long, but his resolve had crumbled and he couldn’t take it anymore. “You don’t know a thing about me or Starfire.” 

Terra gave off a humorless laugh as she pushed passed Robin. “Despite the show you put on, Robin, I can see exactly how you feel about her.” She paused at the door, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. “And if I can see it, you damn well know Slade can see it too.”

Robin didn’t have a response because he knew she was right. He closed his eyes, turning away from her.

“When you realize where you are you know where to find me.” Terra said a little more softly before she left the room.

Robin felt a surge of anger and rage rise up in him as the hot tears spilled over his face. He grabbed the nearest chair, throwing it through the open doorway screaming, “Fuck!”

-

The waves lapping against the tower proved to be a calming sound as Starfire rested her head against her knees, her fingers running through the soft, green fur as Beast Boy slept softly next to her in kitten form. The cool breeze was welcoming as her eyes wondered up to the twinkling stars in the sky. She heard movement from next to her and turned to see Raven setting down a mug of tea on the table before she sat across from her on the window seat.

“You okay?” She asked, her violet eyes watching her friend closely.

“I’m not sure any of us will be okay until this is all over.” Starfire responded thoughtfully. 

“No,” Raven said as she twirled her finger over the spoon, stirring her tea with her powers, “we won’t be.”

“I do believe it has brought us closer though.” Starfire offered with a smile as she grabbed the mug taking a sip, Beast Boy readjusting his position at her feet.

Raven returned the smile. “We might all need therapy after this one, though.”

“You’re telling me.” Cyborg said as he joined them, a big yawn escaping his lips. 

“Any luck?” Raven asked as Beast Boy’s ears perked up before he transformed back into his normal self to listen to Cyborg’s answer.

“No connection with the things they’ve been stealing over the last couple of months.” Cyborg said with a frown. He watched as the Titans exchanged disappointed looks. “But I did find something interesting.”

“What did you find?” Starfire asked as she sat up straighter.

Cyborg stifled another yawn as he said, “I wasn’t getting anywhere with looking into stuff after Robin and Terra had crossed over to Slade’s side, so I went back.”

“And?” Raven asked with a raised eyebrow.

“There was a two week gap between Terra and Robin’s betrayal,” Cyborg explained, “so in that time I cross checked every single thing that was out of the norm. Robberies, missing persons, weather events, and strange occurrences all in the area.”

“No wonder you haven’t been sleeping.” Beast Boy said as he shook his head. “That’s way too much information to look through.”

“For a while nothing seemed connected, until I noticed something weird in Jump City’s seismic activity from one of the University’s science board.” Cyborg continued. “There were minor earthquakes over a period of those two weeks over several of the fault lines, but they were too small for the Tower to register them as a threat.”

“Small earthquakes happen all the time.” Raven countered.

Cyborg nodded his head. “They do, but these were pattered at the same time over the two week period, like something was being tested.” 

“Terra.” Beast Boy said with narrowed eyes.

“Could be.” Cyborg finished. “Maybe Slade has something planned with them that would cause Robin to defect to being his apprentice.”

“So how do we check the fault lines?” Beast Boy asked, hope sparking in his eye. “Can Raven just magically look through all the rocks and find something that’s wrong?”

Raven nudged him in the arm gently, causing him to grin slightly at her. “Knowing Slade he’s smart enough to counter most of powers. He might have cloaked whatever plan he’s hatched or done something to throw us off the trail.”

Cyborg nodded in agreement. “We’re just going to have to do it the old fashion way and look ourselves.”

Beast Boy groaned as he leaned back into Starfire, bringing her out of her trance. She quickly put away her phone, ignoring the words that were running across her screen. 

“Might as well get to bed and start early,” Raven said as she stood up, “before Slade sets us up for a fight with Terra and Robin.” The boys said their goodnights and wandered off to bed, but Raven hung back as Starfire got to her feet before falling instead with her friend. “Something on your mind?” She asked.

Starfire thought for a moment before answering. While she hated lying about her situation with Robin she knew that was for the better, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t confine in her friends about some of her worries. “Robin was jealous of Beast Boy today.”

Raven was taken aback, clearly not expecting Starfire’s answer. “What? Why? How?”

Starfire felt her shoulders sag a little as she walked, biting her lip as she tried to decide what to do. “He made a comment about how Beast Boy was my new partner. He sounded angry and upset.”

“He has no right to be.” Raven responded immediately. “Even if he was forced to join Slade he can’t take those hurt feelings out on you or Beast Boy.”

“I know.” Starfire responded. She was upset with Robin, but she also knew what Slade was capable of. “I am worried Slade is going to break him. We both know the power he holds over Robin and now, in such closed spaces together, who knows how his mind has been twisted by that terrible man.”

Raven placed a hand on Starfire’s shoulder as they reached the space between their rooms. “It’s messy and horrible and unfortunately, the only thing we can do is figure out how to stop Slade before it’s too late.”

Starfire nodded in agreement before she bid her friend goodnight. As the door swished closed behind her she pulled out her phone, her thumb rubbing against the screen over Robin’s words.

Meet me tonight, please?

She had been debating turning his offer down, but her heart ached to be with him. Even with their back and forth fighting and loving, sometimes it was the only thing still holding her together. It was dangerous, selfish, and unhealthy, but it was Robin giving her everything he could and it was enough. So she waited an hour or so before she responded, quietly slipping out through her window into the evening. She hoped Cyborg was right about the earthquakes and the fault lines because she wasn’t sure how much more either side could take. She had been careful to dress in normal clothes, her hair tucked beneath the hood of her sweatshirt. The darkness helped as she walked to the small house on a tiny alcove of the city. It had a beautiful view of the bay. It was small, but it was safe and warm and theirs. He always beat her there, but she didn’t mind. She enjoyed the small leap her heart did when she opened the door and he was standing just inside the door to the patio, leaning against the frame casually.

“Hey.” He said breathlessly as he turned to face her. He was in jeans and a black shirt, simple, but she loved how he looked in casual attire. He wasn’t wearing his mask and she could see the deep blue of his eyes reflecting in the candlelight.

“You’re not concerned with Beast Boy and I being on the same team?” She asked as she lowered her hood, her hair falling gently down her back. She watched his smile fall slightly, but she couldn’t stop the question from leaving her lips. She was angry and frustrated with him.

Robin could feel the tension hang between them. He didn’t want to fight, be he owed her an explanation. Despite not being on the battlefield it still felt like they were on different sides. “I let my anger and jealousy get the best of me. I let Slade get into my head.”

“You know how I feel about you.” Starfire responded as she took a step towards him, her anger melting as he mirrored her movements. “Do not let Slade win.”

“Why does it feel like he already has?” Robin asked as he reached out for her. All of his guilt and hurt stirred in him as his fingers brushed her hair out of her face. What would she do if she knew what he had started to do with Terra? Would she understand that he was just trying to play their game? 

“Then this will have all been for nothing.” Starfire murmured her fingers gently lifting his shirt to examine his bruised and battered body. Every time they met he seemed to be a little worse off and it broke her heart to see the abuse he had to endure. “We will be nothing.”

Robin did the same, removing her hoodie and shirt carefully, his eyes falling to the bandages wrapped around her torso from where Slade’s blaster had done its worse. Starfire had always been beautiful no matter what she did, but right now as she stood there, half naked, damaged, and watching him with eyes full of love and concern he thought he had never seen a more breathtaking person in his life. 

“I love you.”

He had felt it for a while, but it had been too dangerous to say those words aloud even when it was just the two of them in this very room. He watched her lips curl into a smile and he could have melted at her feet right there.

“I’ve always loved you.” She whispered back.

Now Robin was kissing her because he was done with words and looks and fighting. He wanted to feel her against him and even though his body ached and screamed at his movements he didn’t care. She was lightweight as he picked her up, moving her against the wall, his hips grinding into her own. She was warm and soft and Robin realized there was still too much fabric between them. The rest of their clothes fell to the floor as they stumbled to the bed. His heart was full of her as they moved together.

“You know we can not keep doing this.” Starfire said as they lay together, naked under the sheets afterwards. “I can not keep lying to the Titans.”

Robin nodded his head, his fingers running through her hair. “I’m figuring it out.” He said.

Starfire propped herself up on her elbow, moving out of his touch, jostling him. “That’s what you always say.” She argued. “But we’re still in the same place we’ve always been!”

Robin felted distressed as he sat up. He didn’t want to upset her. This was the only place they could just be themselves and find some small piece of happiness in the chaos that was their lives. “Star,” he said as he held up his hands, “I know I’m sor-“

“If you just told us,” she continued, “told me what Slade was doing we could stop it!”

“You know I can’t.” Robin responded immediately through a tight jaw. “Slade would know. He would know and then it would be too late.”

Starfire blinked back tears, her head turning away from him as she moved to the edge of the bed. Robin moved, his hands hesitantly reaching out for her. When she didn’t pull away he wrapped his arms around her torso, resting his head against her back.

“I will hold on for a little bit longer.” Starfire finally said.

“That’s all I need.” Robin whispered.

She turned, leaning her forehead against his. He wouldn’t let Slade destroy this. Them. No matter how much Slade chipped away at him he still had something worth fighting for. He had the Titans. He had Starfire. And that would have to be enough for now.

-

“Faster.” Slade growled as he watched Terra and Robin fight each other in a training simulation. He had grown frustrated with his apprentices and how the Titans were starting to gain an advantage. Soon they would be past their betrayed feelings and gain the upper hand. Something needed to be done. Robin ducted under Terra’s rock hand, climbing up her perch and knocking her off. She quickly recovered, back flipping onto a rock that had pulled itself out of the training course. He pulled out a phone from his pocket, turning it over in his hand with care.

Yes, he thought, something needs to be done indeed. 

He quickly typed a message, setting the phone down on the arm of his chair before grabbing the cup of tea as Robin was thrown back into a wall. He had given them a days rest. They should have been sharper than this. Smarter. It was only a few minutes before the phone vibrated, causing Slade’s lips to curl into a smile. He quickly read over the reply, his smile only growing wider.

“That is enough for today.” Slade said as he stood up. He waved his hand, shutting down the training center, catching both Robin and Terra off guard.

Terra crossed her arms over her chest as she said, “What the hell are we supposed to do now then? Have something else for us to steal?”

“Go eat.” Slade said as he brushed past his apprentice’s. “And be prepared for your mission tonight.”

“Where are you going?” Robin asked with a raised eyebrow.

Slade stopped in his tracks, turning to look at Robin. “What I do is none of your concern.” Slade said as he moved toward the Boy Wonder, watching as Robin’s eyes narrowed. “It has come to my attention that what you two have been lacking is a little motivation.”

Robin didn’t like the way Slade had said that, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew better than to go looking for a fight or give Slade any reason to doubt where he was. Slade stared down at Robin for a moment longer before he pulled himself to his fullest height, turned and walked away.

-

It had been nearly the middle of the night when Starfire’s phone had buzzed, stirring her out of a restless sleep. She could feel her body ache as she moved to grab her phone from the nightstand. For once their day hadn’t been spent chasing Terra or Robin, but just one of their normal adversaries, which had been a nice change of pace. Still, their endless fighting had taken its toll, even on her Tameranian body, which was more durable than her Titan teammates. It had been nearly a week since Robin had texted her for a meet up. She had seen him once during a mission, but they had barely spoken since Robin had not lingered long for a fight.

Meet me in an hour?

She smiled down at the message, half tempted to tease him about the lateness of the hour. She knew that his time was fleeting and hard to come by and he gave her every little bit that he had.

Of course.

She could leave and still be back a few hours before her friends would even notice that she had left. She quickly slipped into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt before quietly climbing out of her window. The night was cooler than she expected, but was a welcomed change. She could see storm clouds gathering over the bay, a gust of wind blowing her hair around her face before she turned away in the direction of their little secret. She had told Robin she could hold on a little longer, but she was wearing down. The guilt and confusion weighing heavily on her as the Titans searched for the missing piece to Slade’s plan. She trusted Robin, but she also knew he needed help. He needed his friends. She just wished he would trust her in return. The thunder grew louder behind her, flashes of lightening illuminating the empty streets of Jump City. She had travelled this path many times before and soon she was just outside that familiar door. She took a deep breath, ready for her emotions to be flooded with his.

“Robin?” She asked into the semi darkness as her eyes fell over several candles lighting a path to the bed. She closed the door, following the glow to a sea of rose petals spread out over the bed they shared together. A small smile came to her lips as her fingers ran over the dark, red roses, inhaling their sweet scent. Robin had never done anything like this before. She turned away from the bed, moving towards the screened door where he was normally waiting for her. She leaned against the side, looking out into the stormy sky. She could smell the rain, wondering where Robin had disappeared.

“Romantic, isn’t it?”

Starfire quickly turned; startled by a voice she never thought she would hear in this room. Her hands immediately glowed a bright green, a snarl overtaking her face as she looked at the dark outline standing before her.

“Amazing how such beauty could hold so much destructive power.” Slade said as he stepped into the candlelight, hands resting casually behind his back.

“What are you doing here?” Starfire growled, body tense. “Where’s Robin?”

“Robin,” Slade said as he moved towards the bed, running his hand through the pile of rose petals, “doesn’t know we’re here.”

Starfire looked at him for a moment, her eyes fading back to their normal color as she realized what had happened. “You planned this.” She whispered as her hands balled into tighter fist, the glow of her bolts shinning brighter against the dark sky behind her.

Slade held up the phone so that she could see it clearly. “Robin thinks he is clever, hiding this from me, but I see everything. I know all.”

“If you are so clever then you would have brought backup.” Starfire responded boldly. “Because I will tear you limb from limb for what you’ve done to Robin.” There was a rare dark and dangerous edge to her voice, making even Slade’s eyes widen for a fraction of a moment.

“I am not here to fight you.” Slade said as he stashed his phone away. “I know what powers you posses.”

“Then why are you here?” She asked, not letting her guard down, but watching him with curiosity and confusion.

“You think Robin is going to betray me and return to you.” Slade explained as he paced in front of her. “But Robin has known my plan for many months now and yet he still fights for me.”

Starfire felt her shoulders drop for a moment. Slade was lying. Robin had promised he was figuring it out, fighting his way back to them. How could he know everything, but give her nothing in return?

“I admit,” Slade said as he turned to her, his hand reaching out in the space between them, “you are quite the distraction.” His finger grabbed onto a lock of her hair, causing her to recoil instantly.

“Don’t touch me.” She snarled.

Slade only smile his hand slowly falling back to his side. “Like I said, a simple distraction. Nothing more.” He began to turn away, but her next words caught him off guard. 

“Then why did you come?” She asked as she gave him a defiant look, her jaw set in anger. Slade turned to fully look at her, admiring how she seemed to set the room ablaze. “You wouldn’t be here if I was just a distraction.” She stated. “You know how Robin feels about me,” she continued as she took a step forward, “and you know that will be your undoing.” She moved so she was standing just in front of him.

“Beautiful. Powerful. Smart.” Slade commented as he looked down at her. “Maybe it was you I should have chosen to be my apprentice. Imagine your powers unchained and unburdened by the morals of a hero.” He said as he restrained himself from brushing her hair out of her eyes.

“I know what I am capable of.” Starfire replied darkly. “You do not want to see what I can become.”

Slade could feel the hum of her powers between them, knowing that if he didn’t act fast she would destroy him. “You’re right.” He said dangerously. “Robin’s love for you will bring an end to everything I have worked so hard for.” Out of his suit, by his wrist, came a small remote control with a button that he hovered his thumb over for a moment. “And we simply can’t have that.”

Too late Starfire realized what he had and as she started to move towards him he pressed the button, causing two small machines hidden beneath the candles to shoot out a high bolt of electricity, lighting her up in a blue glow. Her pained screams only last a few moments before she fell to the ground unconscious, crashing into the sea of candles. Slade kneeled down, gently brushing her fiery locks from her tanned face. He then pulled out the phone, making a quick call.

“You know where to meet me.” He said.

“Yes, master.”

“Good.” He replied before he hung up the phone. He carefully picked the unconscious Starfire up in his arms, heading out into the stormy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this update!


	3. Chapter 3

Robin stared up at the ceiling, the quietness of the room unnerving him. Usually there was something going on, whether Slade was doing some mysterious deviant project or Terra was bothering him, but there was just nothing. He had thought about texting Starfire, but was afraid that if he left and Slade returned it would look too suspicious. So he lay in his bed, in the quiet, hoping to catch some sort of sleep. The only trouble was that he hardly slept anymore. His nightmares made it nearly impossible. But right now it wasn’t his nightmares keeping him awake. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone terribly wrong. He was supposed to go on a mission late last night, but Slade had cancelled that just as he had gotten ready. Slade rarely pulled back from an opportunity for Robin to fight his old teammates. Something had changed, but he just didn’t know what. With a long, drawn out sight he got to his feet, wondering if Terra was skulking in her room.

He stood outside her door, his hand hanging in the empty space. He remembered the last time they were alone together. Terra had made an advance and he had reciprocated, even if it was just for a moment. Did Terra have feelings for him or was she just lonely? He didn’t even know how he felt about her. One moment they were at each other’s throats, the next she seemed like the only person he could depend on. It was exhausting, whatever their relationship was. He shook his head, knocking on the door. Her yells would be better than the silence. He waited for a moment, surprised that she hadn’t answered. Had Slade called her out, but not him? He pushed open the door, finding it empty. Her room was about as personalized as his own. A make shift bed, a desk and chair in the corner, and a pad of paper and pencils for drawing. At least she had a hobby that wasn’t beating your fist into the drywall.

“Robin, I’m sending coordinates your way for an item I need you to pick up.” Slade’s voice came in over his earpiece. “Terra will join you when she can.”

“Fine.” Robin said shortly. 

Although he hated the fight it gave him something to do. He had too much nervous energy pent up and he needed to get it out somehow. Besides, it gave him a chance to see Starfire, even if it was just for a moment. He followed the coordinates easy enough. Some sort of computer chip that Robin had no idea what it did or what Slade was using it for. There was always some bigger piece of the puzzle he was missing. It was always just out of reach. The explosion behind him almost made him smile. The Titans were right on time.

“Robin!”

Cyborg’s voice sounded harsher this time, angrier than normal. Robin turned to face them, his face falling when he only counted three Titans. He felt frozen as the terrible feeling from early filled in the pit of his stomach. Why would they come as a team and not bring her? Why wasn’t she with them? He barely had time to act on those thoughts as Raven’s powers wrapped him up, slamming him into the wall. All three Titans were in front of him in an instant.

“Where is she?” Beast Boy growled in uncharacteristic like anger.

“What did you do to her?” Raven followed up. Robin could hear just how close to the edge she was.

“I don’t understand.” Was all Robin could say as he looked between his friends. Former friends.

“Robin,” Cyborg said as his arm turned into a canon, aiming it straight at their ex-leader, “I’m only going to ask you this once. Where’s Starfire?”

-

Her body ached immensely, but it was nothing compared to the pounding in her head. As she blinked her eyes open the blinding light above her nearly made her puke. She inhaled deep breaths to steady herself before her surroundings became clearer. She looked down surprised to see her body encased in rock all the way up to her chest. She closed her eyes again, focusing her power on her body, causing the rock wall holding her to shake.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Starfire quickly opened her eyes, her lips setting into a hard line as Terra stepped into view.

“Terra.” Starfire said simply, her lips trembling with anger.

“You’ll trigger an earthquake that could destroy the whole city with just the tiniest of movements.” Terra continued like Starfire had not spoken at all.

Starfire could hear the hum of a machine and she turned her head to the side to see some sort of generator the size of a refrigerator embedded into the rock wall. She looked around the room, which was small. There was one door and the rest of the walls were rock.

“The fault lines.” Starfire said as she looked back at Terra. “You’ve connected me to them.”

Terra nodded her head. It was one of those rare moments she was face to face with a Titan and they weren’t fighting her. She wondered what Robin saw in this girl, this alien princess, that was so worth throwing everything else away. 

“Why?” Starfire asked when Terra did not respond.

“Because everyone has a weak spot,” Slade said as he stepped out of the darkness, Terra stepping to the side to let him through, “and everyone can be motived if you have the right leverage.”

“I would say my friends will notice my absence, but you have already thought of that, haven’t you?” Starfire asked as she cocked her head to the side.

Slade smiled beneath his mask. “Good, very good.” He said as he moved closer to her. “It’s been my project for a while. The room is untraceable and unreachable for any of the Titans.”

“And when they can not find me, they’ll corner Robin.” Starfire continued. She knew this man and his games. Slade knew how to twist the knife in Robin like no one else could. 

Slade clapped his hands together. “Wonderful, really, you are a delight.” He said as he reached out and cupped her chin with his hand. “A terrible thorn in my side, but still, I will savor these moments together.”

Terra cleared her throat, catching Slade’s attention. “The Titans are approaching the compound now.” Her eyes were narrowed as she looked at Slade and Starfire. She couldn’t stop the heat rising to her cheeks at the way Slade looked at and talked with the princess. She was their enemy and yet he was treating her like she was the most prized possession in the world. She was sitting here doing his dirty work and all she received were endless beatings and abuse. 

“Go and help him.” Slade said with a wave of his free hand. “Return to this post when you are finished.”

“Yes, master.” Terra said through tight lips. As she turned to leave Slade called out to her. She faced him again and now he was walking towards her, hands behind his back. “Yes?”

Slade leaned down so that he was eye level with her. “Jealousy is not a good color on you, my dear.” He said in a dangerously low voice. “If I see it again then we will have a very serious problem. Do I make myself clear?”

Terra swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes darting to the helpless Starfire for a moment. She nodded her head. “We’re clear.” She waited until Slade had pulled himself up and turned back to Starfire before she turned and bolted through the door, blinking back the tears in her eyes.

“Why do you treat them like that?” Starfire asked as Slade moved towards her.

Slade placed a hand on her cheek, looking down into her emerald eyes. “If you think I treat my allies terribly, imagine how I can treat my enemies.”

Starfire resisted the urge to shudder as she closed her eyes, his cool hand still against her warm face. 

“Robin’s been holding back.” Slade continued, his thumb brushing over her skin. “Imagine what I can unleash when I give him a true ultimatum that will break his heart.”

Starfire squeezed her eyes tightly wishing she could pull away from him, her lips rubbing together to stop the trembling. His hand moved to clutch her jaw tightly.

“Threatening the city wasn’t enough.” Slade said as he jerked her head towards him, forcing her to eyes to open and her gaze to fall on his masked face. “All those people and yet Robin still held back because of one person.”

“You will never understand what we have between us.” She responded defiantly. 

“No,” Slade said as he finally released her, “but I intend to break it.”

-

“What do you mean where is she?” Robin asked, fear turning to anger. How could they think he would ever do anything to hurt her? “Why isn’t she with you?” He snarled, accusing them. 

His tone surprised the Titans and it was just enough for Raven to loosen her grip, but it was all that Robin needed. He slipped a small, exploding disc to the floor, blasting them all into the next room. He hit the ground, letting the pain radiate through him for only a moment. He was quickly on his feet, throwing a smoke bomb down before the Titans could recover. 

Slade didn’t know. Slade didn’t know. Slade didn’t know.

It was the only thing repeating over his mind as he stumbled out into the alleyway. He held his arm close to his chest, knowing he had popped his shoulder out. He could feel blood trickling from his nose and lip, but he didn’t care. He only stopped for a moment to put his shoulder back in place before he took off down the street. The world around him was a blur as he picked up speed. Thunder rumbled above him, the sky darkening with clouds, but he didn’t dare stop for cover. Soon he was there, standing just outside the door of their little secret. He took a moment to catch his breath afraid of what would be waiting for him on the other side. He didn’t hesitate a moment longer as he pushed open the door. 

“Starfire?” He called into the empty room.

He could see the far sliding door was open, the wind blowing the curtains, a flash of lightning lighting up the dark room. He could see the row of candles leading up to the bed and the mess of rose petals scattered around. He followed the path until he reached the place where they were all knocked over. He bent down, catching two scorch marks on the white carpet. He closed his eyes imagining the device he knew Slade used to incapacitate her. He could hear her pained screams echoing before the sound of falling rain drowned it out. He opened his eyes before they narrowed in anger, pure rage taking hold of him. 

-

“He didn’t know,” Beast Boy said as he paced back in forth in the Titan’s living room, “you could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes.” He finished as he pulled on his dark green locks, trying to stay calm.

“Slade has been playing this game a lot longer than the rest of us.” Cyborg said grimly as he typed away on the main computer. 

“Wherever Starfire is Slade wanted to make sure that we couldn’t reach her.” Raven said from beside Cyborg, her eyes on the screen. 

“He’s not going to kill her.” Beast Boy said as he came to a stop, looking at his friends. They both turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. “She’s too important to Robin.”

Raven nodded her head, trying to form a small smile, but it turned into a grimace as she sighed deeply. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to kill us.”

“At least we finally know why Slade holds all of the cards.” Cyborg said as he quickly pulled up several pictures of small rooms with a generator and rocked walls. “And Robin is going to lead us right to him.”

Cyborg pulled up a second screen that showed a map of Jump City. There was a small, blinking red light moving rapidly across the city. All three Titans looked up at it, wondering where its journey would end.

“It’s time for this game to end.” Cyborg said as Robin’s red dot stopped on the map.

-

“SLADE!”

Slade leaned back in his chair, a smile curling to his lips as Robin stepped out of the darkness, a snarl on his lips, chest heaving in anger. Yes, he thought, this was just the tip of the iceberg. All Robin needed was a little push and soon there would be no going back.

“Robin,” Slade said calmly, “I take it your mission was successful.” Slade got to his feet as Robin neared him, but was caught off guard as Robin swung his fist forward, knocking Slade back into his seat.

“Where. Is. She.” Robin growled through his teeth. It wasn’t a question. It was a demand.

Slade rubbed his jaw were Robin had punched him, impressed by his strength. Robin was gripping the front of Slade’s jacket tightly. Slade slowly brought his hands up to Robin’s wrist, applying light pressure. 

“The chip, first.” He stated coldly.

Robin looked like he was about to argue, but he quickly released Slade, digging into his pocket and pulling out the chip. He handed it over, watching Slade take it to the huge computer sitting just across from them.

“I will say,” Slade said as he put the chip in the computer before turning to look back at Robin, “it did take me a moment to figure out that you were sneaking around behind my back.”

Robin said nothing as he stood in front of Slade, hands balled into tight fist. All he wanted was to know if Starfire was still alive, if she was okay. He could never forgive himself if Slade had done his worse.

“But of course,” Slade continued in lieu of Robin’s silence, “I will always find out. I had the privilege of speaking with the princess and I am impressed. She really is beautiful, isn’t she?”

Robin could feel his jaw clenching in anger. He hated the idea of Slade being so close to her. “Just tell me where she is.” He said, the words coming out more desperate than he meant to.

Slade’s fingers ran smoothly over the keyboard without looking away from Robin. He pulled up a video feed on the screen, tilting his head to the side as he watched Robin’s eyes widen. “The trouble with wanting is the consequences that it always brings.”

Robin felt his heart drop into his stomach as he focused in on Starfire. She was encased with rock, her head bent low to her chest, her face twisted in pain as she tried not move. “What have you done to her?”

“I thought long about how I would really break you, Robin.” Slade said as he moved towards Robin, circling around the Boy Wonder so he was standing just behind him. “Clearly your feelings for this girl are stronger than I had originally thought. It took some time, planning, and for the right circumstances to occur, but I finally had the perfect idea. Don’t worry, she can see us too.”

Robin watched as Terra stepped into frame of the video, her eyes and hands glowing as she moved toward Starfire. “Wait, stop!” Robin said as he quickly looked at Slade.

“Starfire understood right away where she was.” Slade explained, ignoring Robin’s plea. “She knows that any resistance or use of her powers will trigger an earthquake that will destroy Jump City.”

Robin felt like he was going to be sick as Terra looked up at the camera, waiting for her cue from Slade. He could see Starfire look up, her face trying not to betray any emotion. Her eyes found Robin’s masked ones quickly, and, for a moment, he could see the fear in her emerald pools. “Don’t do this.”

“I wonder how long it will take for her bones to be crushed or her lungs to give out.” Slade said as he looked up at the screen before nodding his head. 

Terra understood the signal and turned back to Starfire, raising her glowing hand, her fist slowly closing. Robin watched as the rocks around Starfire began crushing her. He could see her trying not to move, a whimper escaping her lips as her eyes closed tightly, fighting the pain.

“You already have me.” Robin said as he looked at Slade. “I’ll stop whatever we had, just don’t do this.”

“I don’t have all of you, Robin,” Slade said, “as evident from your insubordination. You must be taught a lesson.”

A pained cry from Starfire made him quickly look back. She was beginning to gasp for air, throwing her head back, her eyes glowing green. He knew she was struggling not to use her powers, knowing what would happen if she did. He could see the room starting to shake, her resistance breaking.

“Slade,” Terra said as she looked at the camera, “she’s starting to trigger an earthquake.”

“Keep going.” Slade said simply. “I trust that our princess won’t risk the life of others just to save her own.”

Robin stepped in front of Slade throwing his hands out, his heart beating rapidly out of his chest. “Slade, enough!”

“You’re not begging hard enough, Robin.” Slade responded as he looked down at Robin for a moment before his eyes retuned to the screen.

“You told us to never beg.” Robin said as his face hardened. His knees felt weak as Starfire’s gasping breaths pierced his heart. He couldn’t show weakness. He couldn’t lose Starfire. “So tell me what you want me to do.”

Slade smiled. “I want you to kill the Titans.”

Robin felt his blood go cold. Slade couldn’t mean that. He just couldn’t.

“I’m giving you a choice, Robin.” Slade said when Robin said nothing in return. “Kill the Titans or I kill her.”

Robin turned his head over his shoulder. He knew if he killed the Titans there would be no going back to being a hero. If he killed the Titans it would destroy his relationship with Starfire for good. If he killed the Titans…

He could see tears streaming down Starfire’s face, her screams paralyzed as Terra slowly crushed her. He could remember the feel of her skin against his, the way he held her against the wall, kissing her like the world was theirs. He couldn’t stop thinking about her laugh, her smile, the way he felt when she told him she loved him for the first time. 

“I’ll kill them.” Robin whispered as he looked back at Slade. He swallowed the lump in his throat, speaking louder this time. “I’ll kill the Titans.” He felt like those words didn’t belong to him as they came out in a low and dangerous voice.

“That’s my boy.” Slade said, grabbing Robin’s chin, tilting his head up to catch the boy’s eye. Robin jerked his chin out of Slade’s grasp before Slade looked back up at Terra, nodding his head.

Robin looked back at the video screen, the glowing in Terra’s hands fading as the rocks eased around Starfire. She gasped for air, coughing violently, her chest heaving. He watched helpless as she tried to steady her breathing, a trickle of blood falling from her nose and across her trembling lips. “Let her go.” He said as he looked up at the man he hated most in the world.

“When all three Titans are dead then I will see to the princess’ release.” Slade said as he cut the feed from the video. “Until then she will remain where she is.”

Robin couldn’t contain his anger any longer. He swiftly swung his leg, kicking Slade backwards into the monitor. This time Slade was not so impressed as he blocked another attack from Robin. He caught Robin’s arm before throwing him backwards, making the Boy Wonder lose his balance, stumbling to the ground.

“Now you’re getting too bold, apprentice.” Slade said as he removed his jacket, adjusting his armor on his chest. 

“This is what you wanted, right?” Robin asked as he stood up. “Unchecked. Not holding back. I’m going to make you regret that.”

Slade couldn’t help, but smile. His plan was near completion. Robin was almost his for good. Killing the Titans would be the final straw. “The only thing I regret is not pushing you sooner.”

Before Slade and Robin could run at each other a loud explosion from the main door caused both of them to turn in that direction. Out of the dust stepped Raven, Cyborg, and a tiger shaped Beast Boy. All of them were ready for a fight, their weapons and powers aimed directly at Slade.

“It’s over Slade.” Raven said, her narrowed eyes glowing menacingly. “We know about the machines and how to stop them.”

“Robin, you don’t have to work for him anymore.” Cyborg said over his cannon arm. “You can come home.”

Robin felt his heartbreaking all over again. His friends had come for him. They had worked out Slade’s plan on their own and now they were fighting for him to come home. He thought he would have more time, to figure out a plan. Anything to not have to…But Slade wouldn’t let this slide. There would be no second chances if he didn’t do the job he promised. 

“Robin,” Slade said as he turned towards his apprentice, “would you like to tell them, or should I?”

“Tell us what?” Cyborg asked, his cannon still focused on Slade.

Robin reached into his suit; pulling out the laser Slade had given him weeks ago. He knew the damage it could do, but it would get the job done. He quickly attached it to his arm, turning and aiming right at his friends. “I’m sorry.” He said before firing.

-

Terra twisted her blonde hair around her finger, wondering when Slade would call her back to their hideout so she had something to do. She was growing uncomfortable listening to Starfire’s ragged breathing. Of course she had been in fights with the Titans, where their goal was always to end them, but it had never felt real until this moment. She had almost crushed the alien, killed her. The thought made her nauseous. The idea of ending the Titans was so abstract. They always needed someone to fight; it was all part of the balance. She had seen the look on Robin’s face as she was killing his lover, it was haunting and nearly made her sick, but she didn’t have time to be weak in front of Slade. If she didn’t do it then it would only end badly for her.

“You don’t want to do this.”

Terra was surprised to hear Starfire’s voice over the hum of the machine. She turned, her hands falling to her side as she drew closer to the princess. It was just the two of them. Slade and Robin were gone for the moment.

“What do you know about what I want?” Terra asked as she drew eye level with Starfire.

“I saw it in your face.” Starfire said as she looked at Terra. “You did not want to kill me. You were just following orders.”

“We’re supposed to destroy our enemies.” Terra tried to say casually. “That’s part of being the bad guy.”

“Robin isn’t bad.” Starfire said with a sigh. “And neither are you. Not really. Beast Boy doesn’t think so either.”

Hearing Starfire say his name was like a trigger. She began to shake with anger, her hands glowing for a moment, but she had to control her powers. If she killed Starfire then Robin would, without a doubt, kill her.

“You think Robin only wanted you?” Terra asked, lashing out in anger. “Tell me, all those nights he was fucking you did he ever mention his little slip ups with me? If he was so in love with you then why did he have his tongue down my throat, hands holding my waist tightly, pulling me closer?”

Starfire watched the girl in silence. She may have been Slade’s prisoner, but she wasn’t the only one. No matter what he had promised Terra nothing made up for all the abuse he was putting her through. “You were lonely.” Starfire said simply. How could she hate someone that was seeking out companionship and compassion where there was only darkness? She understood where Robin’s heart really was.

Terra felt her jaw drop at Starfire’s answer. How could this girl be so perfect, so understanding, so kind to someone that had almost killed her? She could feel tears pooling in her eyes, but she blinked them back. “I can see why Robin loves you so much. Even Slade admires you in some small, twisted way.”

“I don’t seek Slade’s approval.” Starfire responded darkly before she fell into a coughing fit, spitting up blood on the rocks. She knew she was badly injured and the pain was terrible, but she had to be strong. 

“You know what Robin has to do.” Terra whispered, right hand moving to grip her left arm. “You heard the deal he made with Slade.”

“We can stop him.” Starfire said. “We can stop Slade.”

“It’s too late.” Terra said as she turned away from Starfire. She had made her choice a long time ago. No amount of regret or hoping that things were different would change that.

“It’s never too late.” Starfire argued before she spat up some more blood, her lungs burning. She bit down on her lip to stop the pained whimper from escaping. 

Terra turned to look back at the alien princess, guilt weighing like a heavy brick in her stomach for the damage she had caused. She thought of Cyborg and Raven, people she had once called her friends what seemed like a lifetime ago. She thought of Beast Boy. Someone who had really showed her what true love could have been like if she had just given it a chance. Now they were to die at Robin’s hand. She would lose Beast Boy and he would inevitably lose Starfire. All they would have is each other. Miserable and alone. She looked down at the “S” branded on her armor that marked her as Slade’s apprentice before looking back up into Starfire’s pleading eyes. She had never been more confused in her life.

-

“What the hell is Robin doing?” Beast Boy asked under the cover of Raven’s shield as Cyborg blasted Robin off of his post. “He’s going to kill us!”

“He’s making Robin choose.” Raven said simply as she looked down at Beast Boy. “And he’s choosing Starfire.”

“We have to get out of here and find her if we’re going to break Slade’s hold on Robin.” Cyborg said as he sent another blast in Robin’s direction before the latter could take Raven out. 

“But she could be anywhere.” Beast Boy said with a small shake of his head.

“Almost anywhere.” Raven corrected him as she levitated a box, tossing it in Robin’s direction.

“I bet he has here hooked up to one of those seismic generators.” Cyborg explained as Beast Boy looked between them for an explanation. 

“And Terra’s probably with her.” Beast Boy said softly. 

Cyborg looked at Beast Boy, a grim expression on his face. “If it comes to choosing between Terra and Starfire-“ He began.

“Starfire.” Beast Boy responded immediately and without hesitation, his eyes narrowing. Whatever lingering feelings he had for Terra didn’t compare to his friendship with Starfire. She was too important to all of them.

“We’ll split up and check every site as quickly as we can.” Cyborg said as Raven shielded them from another shot by Robin’s laser. “And we better hurry, I have a feeling Slade’s not going to let us go so easily and Star’s going to take the damage for it.”

Raven and Beast Boy nodded their heads, ready to go. Raven began to summon a portal, but in their moment of distraction while listening to Cyborg, Robin had slipped in a tiny bomb. Beast Boy saw it first, but as he shouted at his friends to run, the glowing red lights blinked, setting the bomb off. Robin stood a few feet away, watching debris crash down onto his friends, hating himself more and more as the seconds ticked by. As the dust cleared he could see al three of them gasping and groaning in pain, stuck under metal beams and other debris.

“Excellent, Robin.” Slade said as he moved to stand next to his apprentice’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Now you need only to finish the job.”

Robin stood still for a moment as his friends looked up at him, their eyes wide before he slowly raised his laser up at them. He could hear their shouts and pleas for him to stop, that there was another way, and that he didn’t have to do this. He could feel his arm shaking, knowing Slade was watching his hesitation.

“Remember our deal, Robin.” Slade hissed into his ear. “Remember who is counting on you right now.”

Robin bit down on his lip as he steadied his arm. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered just low enough so Slade wouldn’t hear his words.

Slade smiled wide underneath his mask. He had won. He had finally won. His moment of triumph was ruined as he was hit with a giant, powerful ball of green energy, sending him flying across the room. Robin’s arm dropped as he turned to look, not daring to believe his eyes. Standing just on the other side was Starfire. Bloodied, barely standing, angry, eyes glowing a fierce green, but still very alive Starfire. 

“YOU!” Slade said as he got to his feet, brushing the dust off his shoulder. “How did you escape?” He growled.

“She had help.” Terra said as she stepped forward into the light, throwing Starfire’s arm around her shoulder to support the alien.

Slade laughed, a horrible sound. “I should have known you were weak.” He said as he moved towards his computer. “And I should have killed you,” he said as he pointed to Starfire, “when I had the chance.”

Robin was still frozen in his spot, his eyes still on Starfire. He couldn’t help the soft smile that filled his face when she looked at him, her eyes returning to their normal color. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Cyborg standing next to him, Raven and Beast Boy on his other side.

“We’ve got your back.” Cyborg said with a grin.  
Robin returned it before taking a deep breath. The air had never tasted sweeter than it did in that moment. A clear of a throat from Slade brought all of their attention back on him.

“Why this may seem like a happy reunion I can assure you it’s not.” Slade said as he pulled up all of the generators across the city.

“Don’t bother.” Terra said, catching him off guard. “I powered all of them down.”

Slade turned sharply to look at her, eye narrowed. “And tell me, dear apprentice, what did our princess say to change your mind?”

“I thought you had the answers.” Terra said, her lip quivering. “You taught me how to control my powers. But you twisted my thoughts, turned me against my friends and made me believe they were the enemy. You abused Robin and I for months when all I wanted to do was show you that I was good enough.” 

“I see.” Slade said quietly, his gaze moving towards Starfire.

“It’s over, Slade.” Robin said as he took a step forward, taking the laser off of his arm and throwing it on the ground in front of his former master. “You don’t get to control us anymore.”

Slade’s focused shifted from Starfire to Robin, his finger hovering over a large, red button. “And to think we could have been everything, but my apprentices if there is one thing you should have learned is always have a backup plan.”

He slammed his hand on the button and suddenly Terra’s screams filled the room. Her grasp fell from Starfire as white electricity swam through her body.

“Terra!” Beast Boy called as he took a step forward. 

Terra fell to her knees still screaming and Starfire moved to help her. Robin’s attention shifted from Terra to Slade as he realized what was about to happen.

“Funny thing about neuro-interfaces,” Slade said as he rotated his wrist, “they just need one small chip to be complete before you’re mine.”

“No!” Robin said as he moved towards Slade.

Slade moved his hand up, Terra mirroring his movements, her hands and eyes glowing. Starfire gasped as a large chunk of earth blew threw the floor, throwing her back into the wall before solidifying around her.

“Where were we with this?” He asked as he looked at Robin, his hand slowly closing, causing Terra to do the same.  
Robin only had a moment to look over and realize he was crushing her all over again. He took off running to where she was trapped, her screams pushing him to go faster.

“Slade stop!” Terra cried as she tried to fight his control, tears streaming down her face.

“Titans go!” Cyborg yelled as he and Raven focused on Slade while Beast Boy tackled Terra to the ground.

“Terra, you have to stop!” he said as he pinned her down.

“I can’t control him.” Terra said as she looked into Beast Boy’s forest green eyes with fear and regret.

As soon as Beast Boy tackled Terra and Slade was distracted by the other two Titans their hold on Starfire broke, the rocks crumbling to the ground. Robin easily caught her in his arms, wrapping them around her waist as she threw hers around his neck. “I got you,” he said “I got you.”

“I know.” Starfire responded as she buried her head into his neck, holding on with all of her strength. 

“Look out!” Raven called to them.

Robin looked up to see a large rock heading straight for them. He regrettable threw Starfire from his arms, jumping in the opposite direction as the rock slammed into the wall, breaking into tiny pieces, spilling over them. 

“There will be no happy endings.” Slade said as he aimed for Starfire again, but she quickly dispatched the rock with her starbolts. 

Robin gritted his teeth as he charged forward, ready to take Slade down, meanwhile the rest of the team was fending off Terra’s forced attacks.

“Don’t let Slade control you any more!” Beast Boy called as he moved out of the way of the ground crumbling beneath him.

“It’s too late.” Terra cried.

Robin ducted under Slade’s blow, landing a roundhouse kick in the middle of the man’s chest knocking him back. Slade scowled as he crashed into the monitor, his hand wiping away a trickle of blood from his lips.

“What’s a matter, Slade?” Robin asked. “Don’t like the new me?”

“Think of who you could have become, Robin.” Slade said as he swung forward, Terra mirroring him, causing Cyborg to shove Raven out of the way of a sharp rock flying in her direction. 

“A monster?” Robin asked as he flipped out of Slade’s way. “Like you?”

Slade laughed. “There’s nothing monstrous about having ambition.”

“There is when you destroy people’s lives.” Robin argued. “But you’re through destroying mine.”

Slade stopped his attack, standing straight up as he looked at Robin. He spotted Starfire just behind the boy wonder, helping Beast Boy to his feet. “Funny how two insignificant beings can ruin years of planning.” Slade said as he titled his head to the side. 

Robin turned his head over his shoulder, catching sight of Beast Boy and Starfire.

“Love.” Slade spat. “I’m going to make sure that comes to an end.”

Robin looked back at Slade, the latter’s eyes closing. The ground began to shake as Terra screamed in pain.

“Slade’s trigger a volcanic eruption!” Cyborg yelled as he looked down at the censors in his arm. “Big enough to take out the whole city.”

Beast Boy looked up at Terra, a pained expression in his face. He could feel Starfire leaning heavily on him, his arms around her waist as he supported her. 

“Beast Boy,” she whispered as he turned to look at her, “help her.”

“How?” He asked.

“You know how.” She said with a nod of her head. 

Beast Boy shifted his gaze back to Terra before he gently released Starfire, taking a step towards his friend. “Terra,” he said as he reached out for her, “I know you’re hurting and you’re scared, but you’re stronger than he is.” He stated clearly as he pointed at Slade.

Robin ran over, kneeling next to Starfire, taking her in his arms as she leaned against him. They watched as Beast Boy got closer to Terra, her powers swirling like crazy around her.

“You’ve always been strong, just a little lost and that’s okay. We’ve all been lost.” He said. Terra was looking at him now, glowing yellow eyes with tears pouring down her cheeks. “It’s never too late.” He said as he closed the distance between them, wrapping her in a tight embrace. He could feel Terra melting into his touch.

“I’m sorry, Beast Boy,” she sniffed, “for everything. I’m going to make it right.”

Beast Boy looked up at her before she gave him a small nod of her head. He took a step back, stumbling into Cyborg and Raven. She turned towards Slade, a snarl on her face. 

“I think you’re time is up, Slade.” She said as a beam of glowing yellow light shot up from her, the ground shaking, the hideout falling apart around them. 

“Terra, no!” Slade yelled as he started for her. The ground beneath his feet crumbled, sending him into a dark abyss.

“I’ll take care of the volcano!” Terra yelled as she concentrated on the moving magma beneath them that was threatening to erupt at any moment. “Just go!”

“Terra, no!” Beast Boy said as he started for her.

“It’s okay, Beast Boy,” Terra said as she gave him a small smile. “I’ll be okay.” She turned towards Robin, so many unspoken things between them. She wanted to say that she was sorry for all the damage she had caused and the hand she had played in his torment of the last few months. He gave her a small nod of his head. He understood. She watched as the Titans moved out of the compound, Raven shielding them in her dark magic before they disappeared for good. “Time to make things right.” She said as she summoned all of her strength and power into one final good deed.

-

Robin looked out over the water that surrounded Titan’s Tower. It seemed like just yesterday he was standing on the other side of the shore, looking in at a place he could no longer call home. He knew things weren’t going to be easy and fully coming back to the team wouldn’t happen over night. There was still so much to work through. So much distrust, hurt, and abuse he would have to slowly sort out, but together they would find a way. Their pizza party from a few hours ago had reminded him of the times good times before his time with Slade and gave him hope. Hope that next day would only be better than the last.

“Sometimes I came and stood out here for hours,” Starfire’s voice cut over the crashing of the waves against the rocks, “and wondered if you were looking for me too.” She finished as she came to stand next to him, smiling softly.

“I thought I would never get to be back here, with the Titans, our friends, with you.” He said as he turned towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I never gave up on you.” Starfire said as she leaned her forehead against his.

“I know.” Robin murmured. “That’s why I love you.”

Starfire bit down on her bottom lip before she kissed him, pulling him in closer. After a moment she pulled back, smiling wildly at him. “I love you.”

Robin grinned as he scooped her up in his arms, spinning them around the top of the tower as their laughter spilled over the horizon and into the setting sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All finished up with a (mostly) happy ending :) Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this story stuck in my head for a long while and finally decided to write it. I always was interested in the idea of Robin and Terra working for Slade at the same time and see how that would work. Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Title inspired by the song "The Trouble With Wanting" by Joy Williams


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